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How I met your father

 

the woods

“There lived a tribe in the woods of Sangiri. The one they call, Devant. the fearless of all men alive. The woods were dark and deep and so were these men. Dark in their complexion, deep in their voice. One of those singer tribes. Born vocalists, I must say. Men and women alike.

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Every morning the Devant men go hunting. But they would hunt just one wild boar every day to feed the tribe. That is the rule. Consume as much as you need, not the greed. Typical Gandhians of our era. And afternoon would be a feast. The feast of wild and merry. The feast of flesh and pleasure. The feast to consummate the drives of the human flesh.

.

And…You seem puzzled!”

“mmm.. *irritated* Why do you talk like that ammu? So dramatic! They seem indulgent, not Gandhian in any way!”

“The world is dull any way, betu! Let my stories have some drama. And well for Gandhian, you are probably right. But respecting your needs and letting go of your greed is kind of great in its own way. Wouldn’t make them indulgent. And if you may allow madame, can we take forward the story?”

“I will hear it from appa when we get back home. You don’t get to the point. And not one tribe’s story without the drama. Well I am NO…T interested”

“Aah! You should be. You would want to listen to this one.”

“Like you claim for every one of your stories.”

“This one is special.”

“Of course, a tribe full of singers. Wow! Go on. Add some spice. Any cute guy? :P”

“There was one. The man with the deepest voice in those woods. Playful like a child, wise like a hermit. I had thought about living in the woods with him, had he agreed.”

“This seems….interesting! Did Appa know about your fancy?”

*irritated* “I hadn’t met him by then. Let me get to the story and you’ll know.

Wangu was his name.”

“Was?”

“IS.”

“But wait, how did you go there in the first place?”

“I had gone for a meeting to a nearby village, Randoth. Got to hear about this singing tribe from the locals and so I thought of spending few days there. One of the village locals was a good friend to the tribe. So he arranged.”

“And they were happy to have you?”

“Not at first. But then the local guy helped with some rapport. Then it was fine.”

“And when did you meet this Wangu guy?”

“The second day. The men were returning from the hunt was when first time I saw him. Then he was singing at the feast. I was quite scandalized that time. The men would openly ask women to have sex during the feast.”

“Did he ask you? ;)”

“You are one curious kid! No he didn’t. I was the guest. And he already had a young beautiful lady drooling over him. Saira was her name. She gave me a souvenir on my way back.

Still quite scandalized, I am. I realize.”

“And you already had a competition! xD”

“And you are ruining this story! :P”

“Of course. 😀

What happened then?”

“So. After the feast, I was sipping one of their drinks in the tavern. Everyone is supposed to drink that thing, post the meal. They say it helps in digestion.”

“BORING details.!”

“You don’t want spice. You don’t want facts. How are you mine, with no knack of stories. But you’d have to bear with this one.”

“By the way, what were you doing during the feast? :D”

“I was already quite scandalized. So I went inside. And there came, he. We guys tried to talk for a while. We wouldn’t understand each other’s language that well. But then, I lost track of time trying to tell him my stories. He read his poetry to me and tried to explain what it meant.

.

Quite a day and….night. 🙂 ”

“Whaaaaaaaa? I would need a while to process this.”

“Take all your time, sweetheart!”

“Ummm.. And?”

“mmm…”

“Wait, what about his Saira lady?”

“What about her?”

*Still looking at her*

“So. She was not her lady that way. And Devant are kinda evolved a tribe I feel. Or that’s how we were probably as human beings. They keep sex and love apart mostly.”

.

.

I sensed unhappiness with the women, the next morning. I was scared. Thankfully your appa turned up that morning.”

“Appa came there? You said you hadn’t met him by then?”

“He was on duty there for a few months. And that was the first time I met your appa.”

“And I thought you guys used to work together at college.”

“That was a month later. Quite a coincidence. We didn’t even befriend at first. We had a very cold relationship. Since I went unannounced to this tribe and your appa was furious. But then he came to the college and couldn’t keep his cold.

.

.

And we decided to marry after a month.”

“Woooaahh!! That was quite an escalation.”

“It didn’t feel like one that time. But, the story is not over yet.

.

.

Within the first week of him joining college, I couldn’t deny what I felt for him. Neither could he. But soon after I started feeling that way, I realized I had you. I didn’t know how would he react if he’d know.

.

I decided to have you. And I told him. He is much more than the guy I fell for.”

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Liberation.

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I am dazed. Yes I am.

That night opened a lot of inhibitions, physical and emotional.
Are there more? May be.
The curse/fortune of being in this human body.

We are same in a lot of ways. You and I.
Extremists, I would say.
Probably at the opposite ends of the spectrum.
And. There are no rights and wrongs.
Plain extremism, I would say.

There is something that keeps me away.
And something that keeps you away.
“Loyalty” is a web. Physical and Emotional.
A web of social acceptability of actions.
That pretty much shapes what we call, Morality.

Do you fear physical disloyalty?
Do you fear emotional reciprocation?

My fears are similar.

Physical reciprocation.
Emotional disloyalty.

Would you like to explore a little more of us?
No protocols. No rights and wrongs.
Away from the norms of social acceptability and morality.

But here’s my list of expectations.
Conversation that connects. No everyday small talk.
Complete embrace.
Along with that little peck on the forehead sometimes.
And an assuring caress, “Its okay.” Once in a while.

Too much to ask for.
And no space to break free.
There are no bounds.
Just a subtle feeling.
Us.

GAME?

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Hi! No bye.

Hi! My name is Swati and I am fascinated by human lives and all the weird ways we connect. These days, I am displaying various connotations and characteristics associated with color Red. This is partly a coincidence and rest, because I love the idea of it, more or less.

If you happen to read this, share some love and introduce yourself in the comments, in your own good and weird way and give me a little sneak peak through you. Even if I already know you! I am really hoping there is no guarded secret about your identity. Or better to say, the perception of your identity(self).

723872-identityhandprintdesignsidrahmoizkhan-1403141987-708-640x480

Yes, these days I have been pondering a lot about identities, perception of self, perception of others and how that directly affects the way we connect to them. In fact a wise man recently highlighted that the picture that we paint for others in our head is so much dependent on own likes, dislikes, mental conditioning and the way we paint one for our own self. So as a social experiment, I asked people I recently met, about their perception of me. It will take a while for me to come up with a theory but its quite an amusing process. Just once in a while, leave yours and jump in someone else’s shoes.

In another conversation with a friend, I realized everything is learnt. Even identity(reads perception of self). Like a skill. And we end up attaching so much of us to that. And there is this complementing thought that says, why can’t we just wear it and take it off. Like garbs.

Will that make us shallow?

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The Story of a Bubble

The story of a BubbleThat little silent bubble, created by those dancing waves beside that stone. It came and went. It came and went. And so does the rest of the bubbles. This one watched through for it stayed a little longer. It gleamed with joy, aspiring to be that mighty wave far ahead near the cliff. For the might that creates more of such bubbles. The bubble that she is. A stronger one maybe. And then the mighty wave that came, went.

Too.

The ripple that was left, went.

Too.

 

Picture Credits

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Life Goals: Be.

Life Goals list

“Say yes to the ideas in your head, free fall in to the unknown and create your own parachute.”

And some great guy just defined what my life has been like past few weeks. I don’t know if I loved the way it is because as far as I can remember, I am a planner. I love to plan.  I have diaries and diaries filled with plan for the day, for the week, for the month and for the year. A tick to the planned job for the day gave the most pleasurable feeling in the world! And I have even designed metrics to calculate and improve on the effectiveness of the implementation.

But to my dismay, life has always been full of surprises. And at the end of every month, I see this invisible “Ghanta” written at the end of the page. And sometimes it’s even worse and I wonder God must mock my never-say-die spirit to plan!

But lately I have embraced these surprises and stopped grumbling at them. Being spontaneous in my decisions and not have the pros and cons chart for things big and small. And stopped worrying how my life would look like 5 years down the line and trying to modify the present to get the favorable results in future.

It’s like unlearning what you learned in those books and becoming the playful, spontaneous, lively and wild child. For me, it’s like a new life or may be a new me or my just another unexplored side!

I have fallen in love with the impermanence of life. I have fallen for every moment as it comes. I have fallen for the fearlessness it has brought in me.

It makes me a better person or not, but it has made me a happy person. May be I’ll be back to being a planner soon. May be not. May be I’ll just find a balance. May be not. There is certain pleasure in this uncertainty. One puddle to next, one puddle to next!

One puddle to next

 

PS I just ticked something off my list. But this time I added it after I completed it. Some pleasures have no match! #kuttekidum

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The ISIS story of RSS

 

I am mostly a peaceful person who is not fond of conflicts. But there are things about people and situations that irritate, disturb and enrage me. But most of the times, I let it go because I am averse to conflicts. And yes it is not something I take pride in because its cowardly. But then there are times when I can’t keep myself back.

I don’t know how many hate speeches and conflicting arguments I am going to face after this but when I believe in something, I truly stand for it. Rashtriya Sevak Sangh, popularly known as RSS, has a history of controversy. Many people even term it as a Hindu-terror group. And honestly, this disturbs me inside. Not because certain people decides to defame a good organization whose volunteers have dedicated to create a better society around them(And I really mean it), but because some fellow men and women(and I don’t mean Hindus by fellow here) have become this influenced that they are going all crazy about it and start comparing it to ISIS. Excuse me?

Rashtriya-Swayamsevak-Sangh

If you think I am biased and opinionated, Yes I am! And there is a reason for it. My father, a man of good repute of a social reformer in our area, is an RSS volunteer. And the association with RSS goes back from the time when he was in Class 7. You can say he has been born and brought up in this organization because they even used to play together with the Pracharaks(the full-time volunteers). And I have met and spent time with a good number of his friends with similar backgrounds, sat in their meetings, attended their events and get-togethers.

To all those who know my father, I don’t need to say more. But who doesn’t know, I can list down a few things I remember. He set up Computer and Vocational Training Institutes for the young men and women, medical clinic and dispensary for the underprivileged section of society, managed a school for free for a good part of his life and dedicated his entire life in creating a better society around apart from raising two wonderful girls with the greatest values and virtues and managing a business which he set up from scratch while he was of my age. And yes a good part of the credit goes to this organization who have created such wonderful pillars in society, we all rest upon knowingly and unknowingly.

To all those who doesn’t know what happens in RSS meetings and get-togethers, let me give a sneak-peek! The last meeting I attended had a really senior Pracharak, talking about family values and relating it to the running of a corporate organization. He travels pan India and gave example of this family with around 150 members and how talking to the head of the family was like talking to the CEO of a company. Next he talked about the types of Tulsi and its benefits and some other stuff on being more humane and leading a better quality of life and that’s what I think, Hinduism is about, the way of life.

I know and I understand, no organization is perfect because they are made by people like you and me, full of imperfections but what you should see is the heart of it. What kind of people and culture does it have and for that you would have to sit with the people and spend some time in the organization. But when someone as “learned” as Irfan Habib compares it ISIS, I can’t take it anymore.

ISIS

The mere thought of what ISIS has done and is doing even while I am writing this, scares me to the bits. The beheading, the practice of sex slavery, burning women and children alive, mutilation needs a strong heart even to listen to the brutal tales of torture.  ISIS is known for its brutal violence and killings to the Shia Muslims and Christians. And to those who doesn’t know that they are also responsible for the mass killing of Yazidis, the biggest genocide in the entire history of mankind.

If you just thought it was a terror group with a motive to expand and create dominance of a particular religion and philosophy and that they are just based in some remote part of Iraq and Syria, and the biggest “well-wishers” of the world, Russia and US, are going to take care of them, you are probably in a deeper slumber, may not be of cowardice, but of ignorance.

If you think I have just presented one side of the coin and don’t want to see the not so great side, I am well aware. But I am also well aware of what RSS has given to the society. Also there are good differences between Shiv Sena, RSS and of course BJP. They might defend each other on certain issues but they are different organizations all together.

Also I am not so good with replying back on social media portals, you can probably drop me a mail(swatinagpal@winwithweb.in) if you want to know more, think otherwise or would just like to say hello!

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Convo over Nail Polish!

“Didi Mai ye paalish laga loon?”

“Nahi!……..Achha laga lo.”

It’s been more than a week since Ramkali came to attend our household chores. She is a chirpy teenager who loves to share her little fables which I hardly understand because of the heavy local accent she carries with her Hindi. BTW I feel like a chirpy teenager too these days with my excitement for sharing my little fables.

Lately, my mother has been really annoyed by her obsession for all my dressing table stuff to which I just tell her, “She is a teenager!”. Probably my mother can’t relate to this assertion for she has never parented a proper teen even after having 2 wonderful girls! 😀

Both of us were really different. Even as teens it didn’t matter to us much how we looked. And that has remained a reason of two extremely opposite emotions for my mother. Pride and Concern. Pride, because she could always boast about how her girls have bigger and better goals than “just” looking good (Maybe she overlooked the fact that we are way too lazy). Concern, because its outlandish! xD

Coming back to the today’s conversation… Ramkali sat with me applying nailpaint on her already painted nails while I was working.

“Didi! Isme bahoot dimag lagta hai?”

“Dimaag se  zyada dil lagta hai.”

[Yeah! I am one of those work-hard-and-love-this-shit  people]

*she looks at me in puzzle*

*the preacher in me awakes*

And then I tell her of every rags-to-riches story I knew, of Narendra Modi, Abdul Kalam and then obviously the teen shero of our times, Malala.

“Mai bhi dil lagaegi padai me! Aap padaengi?”

And I thought of my “engagements” all at once. And I started telling her that she got to go to school and take formal education. It’s not going to help much even if I teach. And as I was telling her that, the feeling of being shallow gripped me. I talk about all those amazing things that we can do with our lives and making it meaningful, I take up “CSR” branding as a project and talk about all great things and responsibilities, and I feel such a small person here.

And with that I got reminded of all little things around us that we often miss. We talk about creating a change in society; doing something brilliant about our lives other than the 9-5 regime, crave for travelling the world and what not when there are these amazing little opportunities around us to make us feel amazing!

“Ramkali! Mera naam likho to zara!”

“Nahi aata”

“Apna naam?”

*nods and grins*

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